Friday, January 7, 2011

The Cold, Hard Truth

I think every morbidly obese person considers bariatric surgery at some point in their life. Whether or not they do it, that's the story. Blaine and I have discussed me having the surgery for a few years. I weighed 70 pounds less than I do today when we got married. Marriage, love of food, a broken ankle, love of food, ligament reconstructive surgery, love of food, a disgust for sweating, and just generally eating way to much lead to me gaining all that weight.

I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. I don't ever remember feeling normal, but I felt comfortable in my own skin and I felt healthy. That's the key for me, I felt healthy. The last couple of years have been tough, my knees, hips, and back hurts, my blood pressure is high, and now my blood sugar is getting out of whack. I feel tired all the time. I realized that I needed more help than just a diet would provide. It's not like I need to lose 50 pounds. I need to lose 160 pounds. That's an entire person I'm carrying around and I'm tired of hauling their butt around! They don't help do the dishes, put away the groceries, or contribute to the checking account! So their butt has got to go!!!!

What makes this decision even more difficult is the fact that our insurance does not cover any type of bariatric surgery. I think it's kind of nuts. Me being unhealthy would probably have cost them way more than we're having to pay in the long run. My health and quality of living are deteriorating and something had to be done.

The first step was both of us agreeing. This is not a decision made lightly and Blaine realizes that even though he's not having the surgery, it will have a serious impact on his life. I couldn't go forward without having him on board. Now I had to find a doctor. A former co-worker of mine had had gastric bypass and loved her doctor. Another friend of a friend had lap-band, used the same doctor and loved him too. I did research online and tried to find anything bad about him and couldn't. Next, I signed us up for a seminar. This is a requirement before you can even make an appointment with the doctor.

At the seminar the doctor gives you the different kinds of surgery available, how effective each is, and how much it costs. When we heard the cost it was several thousand dollars more than I'd heard it would be. It was very discouraging and caused us to think about it for several more weeks. Finally in November I called and made an appointment. They scheduled me for the day before Thanksgiving!

Blaine went with me and we met with Dr. Jones. I told him I was really interested in the lap-band because of it's short recovery time, reversibility, and being able to be adjusted. He agreed, said I was a good candidate, and off we went. Next was a meeting with the financial lady, she broke it all down for us and the cost was lower than what was stated at the meeting. Whew! I don't know what the final cost will be until it's all over. But I'm keeping up with the receipts and plan on deducting it from our taxes next year!

I finally got a phone call from the office in December stating that they could schedule me for the surgery on January 20, 2011. But before I can have the surgery I have to do TWO WEEKS of NutriMed no solid food diet! This is to allow my stomach to be as small as possible before the surgery. I also have to have an upper GI test, x-rays, and an EKG. There's another day of pre-admissions, meeting with the psychologist, dietician, and any other person they deem necessary!

We went to get my NutriMed foods on Wednesday. I got to pick out what I'd be eating for the next two weeks. If I only knew then what I know now! The pudding is disgusting! Nothing solid, six packs of their food, all the diet drinks, sugar free gelatin, and sugar free popsicles I can eat! Yesterday was my first day, I was pretty angry and hungry. But I wasn't as hungry as I thought! When it came time to eat the pudding I about gagged. I even put it in the freezer thinking it would taste better, I hate to think what it would have tasted like in the fridge, blechh!

I didn't sleep well, tossed and turned all night, had weird dreams, and woke up with a headache. More of the same food and today my excretory system began to rebel. I won't go into details, but let's say I'm glad the library has a bathroom! After school, despite my intense hunger pains, we went to the grocery store. Blaine picked his groceries and I picked mine! Lots of sugar free jello in every flavor available, sugar free popsicles, Mrs. Dash to add to the lovely soups and scrambled egg mixes, and a cornucopia of diet drinks! So far Milo's Calorie Free Sweet Tea with Splenda is my favorite.

Now the picture above isn't very flattering, but I've dedicated myself to being as honest as I can with this Blog. So here is the truth: Wednesday, January 6, 2011 I weighed 327 pounds. I haven't taken my measurements, but I plan to next week. I'm only going to post my weight once a week, hopefully it will be a little lower every week!

If you have any questions I haven't answered, feel free to ask! Encouragement is welcome!!!! Here's to an awesome 2011!!!



  1. Robin,
    Due to the long road that led you here, your serious and positive attitude is evident and so important. And it is brave, so brave, to be doing what you're doing, including this blog. You may not know, nor may never know, who you may have either inspired or awakened with this blog and with all that you have yet to share in the upcoming days and weeks. Kudos! Stay strong and strong-willed.

    Well wishes,
    Wanda Hogard

  2. Annie,
    Growing up I thought of you as my pesty little sister. I know how you have struggled with your weight your entire life...the bullying you took from kids because of it...BUT you have ALWAYS had a positive attitude and are one of the most loving, caring, giving persons I have known in my ENTIRE life (and yes, that's a long time). I cried while reading this because I have worried about your health for several years. I know how determined you are when you put your mind to something and I want you to know that I totally support your decision and always have your back. ANYTHING you need...all you have to do is call/text/inbox me and I'm there as soon as possible!!! I love you more than I can ever express in words. I thank God that he put Blaine in your life as I know he also totally supports you and loves you with his whole heart. And I thank God that he gave me you for a little sister!!!

    All my love and prayers,
    Your big sister :)

  3. Im so proud of you my friend! <3 I'm here if you need me for anything.

  4. i think its great that you have the nerve to go for it, i wish you the very best of luck Robin.

  5. Robin, I am so proud of you for making a decision that's best for you and Blaine and following thru with it. You go girl!

  6. Robin,
    I have always found you to be such a courageous person. I have admired your positive attitude and your generous spirit. You are embarking on a journey that will be hard at times; however, some of the hardest things in life turn out to be the greatest. During those hard times, think about how wonderful you are going to feel in the end and this will get you over the hurdles. In the end, the life and the love you have now with Blaine will be even better because you will be able to enjoy it so much more. You are an inspiration to me, and although we don't get to see one another often, I can often think of you or some story that involves you, and it brings a smile to my face. I will be praying for you and wishing you all the best that I have. You are a precious spirit, and I am very honored to call you "friend."
    All my love,
    Lori Wright


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