Sunday, January 16, 2011

My Soapbox is rated for over 500 lbs!

I don't know really what to think. After Tuesday I'll know whether to get super excited, or start planning for a new date. Mentally today has been tough.

I know that being fat isn't quite the same as being homosexual, diabetic, or a certain skin color. I honestly believe that all these things are genetic. But there are people who think that we're fat because we choose to be or don't have the will power to stop. Honestly who would choose to be fat? Who really enjoys being tired? Or getting the look on the airplane, when you're boarding, that says "Dear Lord, don't let me have to share an arm rest with the fat woman!" I get physically ill when we fly if I don't have the window seat and Blaine is next to me. I don't want to touch anybody or have them touch me. Blaine has made traveling so much easier.

Any idea how embarrassing it is to have to contact the flight attendant and have to ask for a seat belt extender? Or to love amusement parks and be afraid to ride the roller coaster for fear the seat won't lock and they'll make you get off? How about going to the mall and saying "I don't want to go in that store because they don't have my size." That's most stores in the mall. I've never bought anything from Abercrombie & Fitch, Banana Republic, Aeropostale, or Victoria's Secret (lotion and bubble bath don't count!) Chairs at the Orpheum are torture devices! And let's not forget the plastic outdoor furniture that some restaurants like to use. I am constantly terrified it's going to collapse. Most outdoor furniture has a limit of 250 pounds. I like to sit in a booth. That way I know my butt isn't hanging over the side of the chair where people can see. Going through the turnstile at the Red Birds games is another embarrassment I endure. I either have to go through sideways or they let me through the handicap chain. That does wonders for my self-esteem.

I'm having this surgery because I've reached the point that I am tired all the time. Walking around the zoo does me in. Going up a flight of stairs has me breathing like an obscene phone caller. But if we're being honest, and that's why I'm doing this blog, I want a chance to feel closer to normal. I don't want to think that people are staring at me and wondering if I'm the fattest person they've ever seen.

If you have a fat friend, keep all these things in mind the next time you are out with them. We have feelings and if given one wish, it would be "To be healthy", and fat isn't healthy.



  1. Amen! Take it from someone close to 500lb, gay, and loves men of color; laughter is often used to hide the tears.


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